Higher Self Archetype: Prince
Bird (How): Pheasant
Artist (Action): No Fear
Mudra: Ananta Mudra - gesture of infinity
I have to laugh out loud because all year I've thought that this Prince card meant that I was going to fall in love and I really, really was not about falling in love. And yet, I knew I should do the work healing my heart in preparation for whatever June had in store for me.
However, as I re-read these cards from a place of momentum, they indicate abundance. And the healing I was doing was much deeper than a romance-related broken heart.
In the last days of May, I came face to face with many truths in the form of this blog, Why Teachers Are Walking Out. I had had many of these thoughts. I had even had conversations with other female teachers about these experiences. However, there was always a part of me that assumed I was exaggerating or overreacting or just letting off steam. Somehow reading these words from a man had the power to validate my experience. And that's another truth smack to the solar plexus and the heart. All these years of just accepting that my skills and gifts would not be valued and would not be seen... all these years of making it work and doing what was right and necessary... it was a manipulation, a systemic twisting of my nurturing nature.
So, the Prince's "romantic charm and potential for power" is so much broader and deeper than one romantic relationship. It's systemic. "See, behind each one of these expectations lies the unspoken threat– 'Don’t you love your kids?'"
The light attribute of the prince is preparing for leadership with compassion, fairness, compassion and wisdom. And part of that for me is releasing this expectation that if I truly love my kids (clients, employees, colleagues, or community), I'll just do what I need to do to make it work.
The Pheasant's affirmation is "I acknowledge the overlighting consciousness of the pheasant in helping me to see my attributes and glory in them." At the beginning of the year, this seemed to support the romance interpretation. However, now I see there is so much more nuance in this card. Pheasants are associated with royalty. This line, "You are connecting with your own power and authority now." And by connecting to my humanness last month, I've harnessed the "shadow aspect of [my] nature...; it no longer undermines [my] progression towards a ful connection with [my] own source of power."
The artist's card this month is titled "No Fear," and then goes on to describe jealousy as a mask for fear. Again, I originally thought of jealousy in the context of romance. In my current context, though, this jealousy is the fear of not being valued. If I demand or even merely ask to receive an energy exchange matching my worth, will others agree with my estimation of my worth? Maybe they don't value the same things I value. Maybe the work I've been doing is actually counterproductive to their goals. Maybe I'm the only person who places value on the services I provide. Perhaps I've been providing my service to people who don't need or want it. These are my fears.
Enthusiasm is my charm. I have come to understand this month that I will dive head first into a project with so much enthusiasm. And it appears that I have done an awe-inspiring amount of work, even if it was just an hour of pure inspiration download. And then other stakeholders are either charmed by my passion and enthusiasm and agree without consideration or they agree to my suggestions just because they don't want to let all my hard work go to waste - they assume I'm attached to the outcome after so much work. Then I end up doing a lot of work that was never wanted or needed in the first place.
I'm not sure I could change my process if I wanted to. I will always dive in enthusiastic and brainstorm while inspiration is fresh. However, I can use discernment to choose when and how to share the results of that process with other stakeholders.
I also need an outlet for my creative expression that is fully mine. Through this avenue, I can channel my full-energy enthusiasm. I won't need to give 150% to a job that really only wants, pays for, or values 50% of my contribution. That was a hard pill to swallow this month. My giving more than is asked of me is not a bonus. It is not a gift. It is a burden to others. I thought I was being generous and that the extra would be appreciated and eventually awarded. The truth is that the extra creates more work for others down the line. They have to undo what I've done.
This realization has been a pretty heavy one. I've been experiencing a lot of grief this month as a result. Which is leading into July. Vampire - depletion, something is draining my life force. And I'm guessing it is me. Yikes. A year of intuitive personal growth is not for the faint of heart.
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After burning out from a long career as a middle school/high school reading/math/science teacher, I returned to school to study massage, hypnotherapy, mindfulness, aromatherapy, and yoga.